Wednesday, April 16, 2008

My Beautiful Mommy by Michael Salzhauer, M.D

I thought the OJ Simpson hypothetical confession "If I Did It" took the title of most bizarre/bad taste/tacky publication I had heard of, but it seems I was wrong. Very wrong.

Taken from

Are you moms out there struggling with how to tell your young kids about plastic surgery?

Well, if your surgery is happening after this Mother's Day, then Florida plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzhauer has just the thing for you!

On that special all-about-Mommy day, he's releasing a 'kid's book' - My Beautiful Mommy - featuring a perky Mommy explaining to her child why she's having cosmetic surgery. Mom's gonna get a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants!

This is not a joke. This book is really going to be out soon!

Before her surgery the mom explains to her little girl that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael (the author's homage to himself?) is going to help fix that and make me feel better."

"Mom" comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

The text, unfortunately, doesn't mention the breast augmentation, but the illustrations intentionally show Mom's breasts to be fuller and higher.

Dr. Michael the author explains, "I tried to skirt that issue in the text itself. The tummy lends itself to an easy explanation to the children: extra skin and can't fit into your clothes. The breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old."

The report also points out that the book doesn't explain exactly why the mother is redoing her nose either. Nonetheless, Mom reassures her little one that the new nose won't just look "different, my dear—prettier!"

Naturally, the ending is happy. Mommy is "even more" beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

I think I just sicked up a little in my mouth.

1 comment:

her said...

oh, you're kidding.


whats next, a book for daddies to tell their sons about penile implants?