Title: Touch Wood – Confessions of an Accidental Porn Director
Author: Anonymous
Publisher: Little Brown Book Group Limited
$36.99
In his thirties with a dead music career, what’s an anonymous bloke to do but launch a new career around the one thing he knows best: porn. And thus the book Touch Wood – Confessions of an Accidental Porn Director was born.
With equal parts hilarity and vulgarity, we are treated to the author’s every bumbling step in his fledging adult entertainment career. His idea is to create hard core films that (shock! horror!) actually have plots, characters and dialogue – something completely foreign to the flaccid British porn industry at that time (and let’s face it, largely still is.)
His exploits come thick and fast. From trying to deal with the “talent,” and convincing his mates to lend him their swanky houses for locations to shooting in public places without being caught (because funnily enough, most city councils won’t give you permission to shoot porn at the local river walkway).
All this while trying to keep his live-in girlfriend and vicar father unawares.
It’s not a book for the prudish or diffident and I don’t recommend you lend it to your mother. But once you get over the very liberal use of the language of porn it’s actually an eye-opening look into a business most people know little about. After all, did you know that you can show toes inserted in an anal sex scene but not a whole foot inserted? (Yes, he really did film that!) And did I mention that it’s funny? It is a fabulously laugh out loud read that romps along at a cracking pace and will serve as a nice distraction from study in the build up to exams.
With equal parts hilarity and vulgarity, we are treated to the author’s every bumbling step in his fledging adult entertainment career. His idea is to create hard core films that (shock! horror!) actually have plots, characters and dialogue – something completely foreign to the flaccid British porn industry at that time (and let’s face it, largely still is.)
His exploits come thick and fast. From trying to deal with the “talent,” and convincing his mates to lend him their swanky houses for locations to shooting in public places without being caught (because funnily enough, most city councils won’t give you permission to shoot porn at the local river walkway).
All this while trying to keep his live-in girlfriend and vicar father unawares.
It’s not a book for the prudish or diffident and I don’t recommend you lend it to your mother. But once you get over the very liberal use of the language of porn it’s actually an eye-opening look into a business most people know little about. After all, did you know that you can show toes inserted in an anal sex scene but not a whole foot inserted? (Yes, he really did film that!) And did I mention that it’s funny? It is a fabulously laugh out loud read that romps along at a cracking pace and will serve as a nice distraction from study in the build up to exams.
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First published in Nexus Magazine. Reproduced with kind permission.
1 comment:
that sounds HILARIOUS!! I can't wait to read it :D
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